this is

somewhat funny

or inspiring

I met the love of my...

I met the love of my life... she didn't.

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My friend told me he...

My friend told me he had the body of a Greek God. I had to explain to him that Buddha is not Greek.
3 horrible facts: 1....

3 horrible facts: 1. Today is not Friday. 2. Tomorrow is not Friday. 3. The day after tomorrow is not Friday.
I used to sell security alarms door to door, and I was really good at it. If no one was home, I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table.
My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it - We went and had some drinks. Cool guy, he wants to be a web developer.
Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone in the meeting.
What did one piece of German bread say to the other piece of bread? Gluten Tag!
What does homework stand for? Half of my energy wasted on random knowledge.
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