My wife looked at me and said: "You weren't even listening, were you?" I thought to myself: "What a weird way to start a conversation".
How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? One you will see in a while. The other you will see later.
A friend invited me over to see his new apartment. When I arrived he said 'please make yourself at home'. So I threw him out. I hate guests.